This is for the people who embrace their beasts and understand the hidden meanings. Love and happiness, yo!

The Tale of the Beast Kingdom’s Feast

Once upon a time, in a distant land named Gilderoff, there was a tale
of three brothers that will forever be embedded in the Kingdom’s
history. The oldest brother, Fugward, was an evil and ruthless person.
Ever since he was a toddler, Fugward terrorized the kids and townsfolk
with his pranks and vandalism. The youngest brother, Golben, was
equally as cruel as his oldest brother. However, he was a dimwit and
only terrorized the village through force and physical intimidation.
Golben would beat and harm anything and anyone Fugward told him. The
middle brother, Kingsly, was not like his other brothers. He was born
of a kind, noble, and courageous bloodline because he was the secret
bastard son of a forest nymph that had snuck into the manor one night
unawares to the nasty hag mother of the other two. Kingsly could not
stand seeing his brother’s cruelty and wanted to protect everyone that
encountered their wrath.

Fugward and Goben’s favorite activity was to terrorize animals,
especially the weaker animals in the livestock and barns. They would
enter other farm yards and take turns torturing the cattle until the
animals had no more strength to survive. Being the brutal savages they
were, they would leave their dying animal carcasses in the fields to
rot while the families slowly began to starve.

Kingsly knew what his brothers were doing and that they must be
stopped. However, no matter how brave and strong he was he did not
know how to confront and defeat his brothers. While pondering this
terrible predicament on a walk in the woods, he was abruptly stopped
by a gigantic, fierce bear with a golden crown atop his head. On the bears shoulder sat the biggest eagle Kingsly has ever seen. the Eagle looked noble but wild. The bear and eagle were accompanied by a cautious but noble looking turtle, a devilish and
strong looking coyote, an enormously strong but gentle moose, a
confident but wise-looking golden wildcat, and a strange creature that
resembled a half squirrel/half jaguar that kept darting his eyes
everywhere looking very worried and frantic. He could also hear an
Owl’s deafening hoots from the trees, but did not know where the Owl
was located. He just knew it sounded old and powerful. Suddenly, from
behind the bear, sprang a fox. The small fox looked cunning and
although it was a small fox, Kingsly could tell this fox was from the
rough part of woods.

To Kingsly’s amazement, the fox spoke, “Kingsly, we are the royal
animals of the beast kingdom. I am Kitsune the Prince of the Fox and
Ambassador to the Beast Kingdom. We know all and see all, and we know
what has been happening in your village. Fugward and Goben must be
stopped”, he finished with a small growl. Kingsly was nervous but
bravely responded “I agree your majesty, but what can I do? Don’t you
animals eat other animals as well?” Prince Kitsune bared his teeth,
“Of course we do, but that is the circle of life. All animals play a
part and must be respected! We are willing to help you, young Kingsly”
Kame the King of the Turtles has devised a great plan to exact our
revenge. All we need you to do is tell Fugward and Goben that you
caught a magical squirjag in the forest. They will come running, and
we will take care of the rest.”

Kingsly agreed to the plan, and waited until the next day to find
Fugward and Goben. They were haphazardly picking on some younger
townsfolk, so it was easy for Kingsly to get them to agree to follow
them to the woods. He knew how much they loved torturing and killing
animals. When Kingsly led them into the opening where he met the royal
beasts the day before, he saw the half jag/half squirrel tied up in
the middle.

Fugwad and Goben were so excited they didn’t notice the other animals
lurking outside the opening. They ran to the squirjag, and right
before they got to him, he sprung up on all fours. Although the
squirjag looked scared as shit, you could tell he was honorable and
not going to back down from the two brutes. Luckily, he didn’t have to
fight because the bear, moose, wildcat, and coyote pounded out of the
forest and expertly disarmed the two retarded brothers. After the scuffle was over, the wild Eagle appeared out of thin air and casually sat on the Bear’s shoulder again.The two
brothers were tied up, and Prince Kitsune walked into the opening with
King Kame on his back with his head barely poking out. You could tell
he was tired from the excitement, and need a nap. “What are you going
to do with them?”, asked Kingsly. The animals looked at each other,
and finally Prince Kitsune replied “Their fate will be the decision of
King Kuma the lord of the bears. He is a noble judge and he will bring
justice for all animals. His word is final. The big bear slowly walked
up to the two whimpering brothers and with a quiet deep voice spoke,
“These two mo-rons shall never harm another animal as long as they or
their bloodline continues. They will live out their lives snuffing and
eating the dung and excrement of animals. If they do not abide by this
punishment, they will feel the iron jaws of all animals around their
throats.” King Kuma finished and let out a mighty roar as if to slam
his gavel on the bench. There was a loud hoot in the trees as if the
Owl approved. Kingsly looked up to see the Owl but could and when he
looked back, the animals were gone. Only his two brothers were left
sitting there in their own piss.

Fugward and Goben never told anyone of that day and soon disappeared
from the town. Nobody ever heard from them and rumor has it, they were
the first vegetarians in this world. Except they and their families
were called shit-eaters until that became politically incorrect.

Years later, Kingsly became a powerful and respected village noble and
papa to five children. He would still walk through that forest hoping
to find the royal beasts but he never did. All he ever heard was a
hoot, growl, snicker, or squirjag shriek in the distance. Every year,
he told the story to his children and after he died, his children told
their children the story that soon became known as the The Death of
Papa’s Bros.

The royal beasts do still live, and once in every 6 full moons they
meet and feast in a magical clearing. They reminisce about the two
dummy brothers and all of the other kickass adventures they’ve had
over the years. They also pay respect to the cows and other animals
that paid their lives to fill their royal bellies.

The End, Let’s Eat

Yes, I have heard the criticisms about Moneyball. Yes, I know this whole theory of creating a baseball team was done well in advance. I am talking about this movie though, and this movie is awesome. Here is why:

1. They use actual players and actors that actually know how to swing a bat. I can’t tell you how much I hate watching a baseball movie where the actors look like they are frufru professional present wrappers swinging a bat. Drives me nuts. They should have each actor swing in their auditions before they hired. Don’t put fuckin Taylor Lautner out there if he looks like a dbag swinging the bat. This movie is great cause they actually have justice, Damon, giambi, Youkiliss! etc swinging the bat. Even the young Billy Bean had an awesome swing.

2. The song his daughter plays is great. Look it up.

3. Pitt dips the entire movie. If you know anything about baseball, you know tobacco is part of the game. It will never leave. I still remember the first time I did and I was one of the last.

4. It’s still a man against the world kind of story. In this case, bean against the beliefs of MLB. You want him to win.

5. I feel like all the GM’s should watch this movie. Fuck the Yankees. Don’t trade with them because they have the money and money is power. Take them out by boycotting them. The Yankees reign started with the Ruth trade.

6. It is funny. Baseball is funny.

That is all for now. I have many more opinions though, so ask.

This Fishbowl Sink concept is a unique way to get people to preserve water. The water in the fishbowl decreases as you wash your hands. The idea is to force people to shut the water off in order to save the fish. Once the faucet is off, the water refills.

epic4chan:

mind blown

suddenlywhaledicks:

HE NEVER DEID

nothingbutapartygirl:

Best cake ever.